Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Today I had a 2 hour drive to Scranton, PA. I start thinking, thinking of Casey and there are no distractions as I sit in the car and drive. I am captive to my own emotions and there is no escaping them. Still after 3 years it is hard to drive long distances alone.We had driven that route so many times as a family -going to see my parents, Casey's grandparents. Seeing if she could hold her breath as we went through the tunnel on the Turnpike, wanting to stop at the rest stops, acting silly and goofy and wanting to get fireworks in Matamoras, or stopping at the flea market at the Monticello Racetrack for bargains with her mother. All those memories come and I am flooded with emotions and alone in the car and no one to talk to. Sometimes I hate long car rides.
Thursday, August 2, 2012
We spent the 3rd anniversary of Casey's death performing service at Magee Rehabilitation Hospital in Philadelphia and announced the new facility therapy dog we had funded. Ford, is an 8 year old Golden Retriever and is such a kind, gentle and loving presence. His unconditional love for the patients, many of whom have suffered devastating and life-altering injuries, is palpable as are the patients' reactions to him. The patients are better motivated and willing to work harder for Ford. Here is a link to a video:
I was in Chicago speaking with lawyers who will participate in the distracted driving presentations in high schools across the country during the 2012-13 academic year. It is gratifying to do all of this in Casey's memory. But... I am realizing that while all of this is good, and I will continue to do these things, they are distractions so that I don't dwell on the enormity of my loss. I still can't look at more than a few pictures of Casey at a time without getting very emotional. Or listen to her voice on one of the videos we have . Or sit in her room and look at her posters, clothes, trinkets and all the items that she collected that represent her energy, compassion, love for people and animals and family and friends. The tragedy of Casey's death would be compounded if we could not do all these positive things in her memory. But that does not make it any less cruel or unfair.