Monday, May 3, 2010

My life sentence


Casey will not be creating any new memories-she will not be speaking new words or be having new relationships. I have learned about death and continue to learn about survival and recovery. I need to keep Casey's memory alive. I need to speak of all the things Casey was and did and receive positive affirmation of what a wonderful young woman she had become. I have a hunger to hear how Casey positively influenced other's lives. I well up with emotion when someone who did not know Casey tells me they will change their life in some small way because of Casey.

Casey has been cheated and I have been cheated and I have to get on with life and do the best that I can.What am I doing and who am I doing all this for? It has almost been ten months since Casey died and I can't believe it. Every day I miss her and in some ways it is worse now than several months ago. The nature of my life sentence is growing clearer.